A Lasting Promise--A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage

By Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milt Bryan

People enter marriage for many different reasons: close companionship, loving commitment, increased security, children, intimacy, and so forth. You could summarize the reasons by saying that men and women enter into the marriage bond for the potential blessings that marriage brings.

I doubt anyone enters marriage with the thought: “Great, now I have an opportunity to work on my communication, conflict-management, and problem-solving skills!” Unfortunately, life in a sinful world (with a sinful spouse) means that these skills are essential if you want to truly enjoy the blessings that marriage has to offer.

The book, A Lasting Promise, A Christian Guide to Fighting for your Marriage, outlines the skills and strategies needed to protect your marriage from the sinful thoughts, attitudes, and actions that can destroy a marriage.

The book is divided into three parts. Part one deals with strategies designed to protect your marriage long-term. The authors identify key issues that are known to erode a marriage. They go into great detail, providing advice on how to manage conflict, communicate openly, and solve problems cooperatively.

In the second part, the authors delve deeper, discussing underlying issues that have a profound influence on the marital relationship. The authors address key issues like unmet needs and expectations, commitment, and forgiveness.

Part three includes tips and strategies for increasing your fun together, preserving your friendship, and growing in intimacy.

From a Christian counselor’s point of view, the book has many positives to offer.

• The writers approach the subject from a conservative, Christian perspective.
• The book is based on hundreds of hours of research, based entirely on actual case studies of volunteer couples
• The examples given to reinforce the book’s suggestions are real conversations between couples, with names changed and reproduced with permission

The author’s, Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain and Milt Bryan do a tremendous job of giving practical advice on how to work as a team.

Unfortunately, there is not a great emphasis on the Means of Grace. As confessional Lutherans, God’s Word and the Sacrament of Holy Communion are part and parcel of the Christian marriage. Spiritual growth—a key blessing that God wants for you and your partner— comes through the use of Scripture and the Sacrament. The blessing of growing together spiritually is briefly mentioned, especially in the last chapter, but not discussed at length.

Although an emphasis on the Means of Grace is absent, there is much for a confessional Lutheran to gain from reading this book and practicing the exercises suggested by the authors. A Lasting Promise will go a long way to give you the tools needed for maintaining and improving your marital relationship.